New beginnings, SINACRAZEDPEOPLE, Spill Your Heart Out

Last Nights Dream with a doodle

Last night I had a really intriguing dream that was muted. However, I was also able to get a sense of my surroundings, the words being mouthed to me, my emotions & the energy that surrounded me.

– – –

I fell into a room. Right on a pallet next to a singing bowl. It hurt so I rubbed my back.

I was moving slower than normal stuck between feeling as if I were in space or underwater. I felt as if I were within both to be honest.

I felt suffocated as if I were drowning what is or isn’t. Something in my head expressed to me that my time would end due to the lack of oxygen I felt that I had there. So I sat on the pallet, banged on the singing bowl expecting sound but all I could see were the vibrations it emanated. This made my eyes widen & I felt a gush of warm air flow through me allowing me to somehow breathe again. I closed my eyes & let it take me around the room as we absorbed one another’s presence.

I opened my eyes & eventually realized I had been sitting in front of a window with this entity staring at me with blazing brownish orange yellow eyes reminding me of the sun. It was happy then angry then happy again as it pointed to the door. It mouthed something to me I didn’t understand so I focused & slowed down his/her mouthing words as its inaudible words said ” this opening is closed but ahead there’s a door open for you” I looked at the door realizing it was close, I turned back feeling content then felt confused as this entity was gone. I looked for the door realizing it was distant. I blinked & shockingly it was closer to my face now. It was so close that I had to focus my eyes in order to make it visible.

The door seemed as if it was going to close on me so I quickly grabbed the door knob while it was there in front of me.

As I grabbed the door knob it held onto my hand & flung me with it . The door then tossed me out of it. As it tossed me I was moving in slow motion face forward.

The gush of warm wind moved my body around to where I was now flying backwards able to look back towards the window. In the window was now myself waving with a smile pointing to the right ( my left while flying backwards ) I looked towards my left & saw another entity with its arms spread out & as eyes filled with my past, present & future was entering & exiting its mouth going outward & inward into space.

I blinked then everything moved normally, the door slammed closed & I woke up.

I am not done with it but wanted to share the process! I didn’t want to add me going through the door because I felt like it was too much in one space so I left it out. I want to dig deeper into this dream since it’s the 1st one I had in a really long time. I have not been sleeping much due to a lot of transitions in my life lately.

I plan to create, focus & be more consistent with my art process more even if that means ghosting on y’all.

I hope you all enjoyed entering a piece of my mind.

-KROW

a ripple affect, SINACRAZEDPEOPLE, Spill Your Heart Out

An accumulation of Thoughts

An accumulation of thoughts and feelings all mixed in one. They’re on top of each other, scattered, dark filled with light, sometimes they disappear & come back to play. Distant whispers or loud filling my brain. There are times when I can touch outer space while my third eye aches to create. They can be filled with love or pain both of these are okay. I choose to accept these thoughts because they are parts of me I say. I can hold a thought for too long and get lost in time- I’ll cling the the good ones & watch the bad make it’s way ..I created this to stimulate my art so my heart doesn’t drift or fade away.

Painting, Spill Your Heart Out

A painting with no titles

This painting was pretty emotional for me really.

When I made this I started off dark colors using black and deep red oil paints. In that moment I realized subconsciously I was choosing these colors because I was in a dark place mentally.

Smearing these two colors around and around not even knowing how to use oil paints but just feeling it and how this feeling related to me.

I allowed this painting to sit outside alone on my balcony for a few days. Checking on it , not knowing what to do with it, not knowing if I wanted to do anything with it.

A reflection of myself.

1 whole month it took me to finally face this darkness, this deep red mixed with black and bring it to the light.

Slowly touching the surface with neon fluorescents and things to glow within the dark.

I allowed these colors to fall onto this painting without thought, without judgment and watched a face evolve from within; from the hardest stroke to the lightest..these are all reflections of myself or maybe someone else who may have felt the same way that I did..in that moment.

The light within will always find its way through the darkness. You just have to face that darkness even when it’s horrifying.

1C61FD83-D7D3-4DCD-B79C-52E52780D4DA.jpeg

 

16 x 20

Oil paint and neon acrylics

Click to purchase

Daily Dose, Food For Thought, Painting, personal blog, Spill Your Heart Out

Too high for these voices in my head

If you’re a person who gets high off of your own art & is an active thinker at all times who goes deeper & deeper into their own thoughts but sometimes feel restricted due to your own thoughts then this painting is relatable to you.

While painting this I was literally having a conversation with myself which was positive & funny & these voices popped up in my head conversing with themselves or me?.. like always. Talking about capitalism, food, negativity, racism, progress, my family, shit to keep me off track, shit to keep me on track, possibilities, what’s achievable what isn’t.

I know these are derived from my own subconscious but these voices are never my own which is weird but hey I welcome them. I truly feel like they’re meant to teach me something.

Sometimes I channel entities from realms I’m not even apart of. Going deep into your subconscious can be scary if you aren’t actively thinking about what these voices mean or why they’re coming to you.

However

Being defeated by my own mind isn’t an option for me & I refuse to succumb to waves that are sent out to keep us from reaching our true potential.

Too high off of my own art(self) to listen to the negativity derived from society & self .

It will drive you crazy.

18 x 20 Canvas Painting

Made with Acrylic & Oil Paints

Click to purchase

What are your thoughts on this?

Can you relate?

Comment with your thoughts

Express yourself

Painting, Spill Your Heart Out

They want to be heard & seen

These paintings were created from faces I remember from my dream. Sometimes they just stand there, looking, smiling, frowing, laughing screaming, crying, pulling out their hair; they even pose hurrying for me to take a photo and won’t stop until I blink a few times. Their faces are never that visible mostly a blur so I draw them as much as I can.

I don’t know what their purpose is for coming to me but I paint them anyway. I draw eyes & mouths on their faces because most of the time they look distorted & I feel like they want to be seen & heard in ways I can’t even imagine. They communicate but I can’t hear them maybe it’s because I haven’t reach my ultimate state of connectivity yet .

One day they will be more audible & visible so I can draw them with more depth. Until now this is what it will be.

24 x 18 in dimensions

Oil paint & neon acrylic paint on canvas

High gloss varnish

Click to purchase

16 x 20 in dimensions

Oil paint & acrylic paint

High gloss varnish

Click here to purchase

Daily Dose, New beginnings, Spill Your Heart Out

Fxxk It

Fuck the 9-5

Goin all in..

with my art.

The idea of having someone control my every day work life made me miserable as shit! There was more energy going into the person I worked for rather than myself, family & Art.

Yah,

the money was great, Fuckin $1000 Bi-weekly, that shit was jackpot for me. Useful for it’s investments but also wasn’t really much because BILLS right…

I moved to Colorado 2 years ago. WOW. 2 years of being mentally, spiritually and emotionally unhappy. INTERNALLY but externally used my daughter, life partner & nature for happiness in hopes it would make my nerves soften at least a tad.

Sometimes I did not want to create art even if I felt inspired because I was drained from working. Fuck that shit, can’t do it anymore. Not going to lie, I do have to be realistic because…cost of living, food & whatever the fuck. So a part time on the weekends is something I plan to do.

 

ha

 

I worked at a liquor store for like a day last weekend and the anxiety & amount of times I had to hold myself back from punching a drunk perv  had me like

 

NAH

not for me anymore.

So hopefully MCA in denver will love me so much they will hire me part time on the weekends

yah because projecting shit into existence is REAL.

 

k I’m rambling..

Here’s a selfie of me smoking earths magical leaves in my workspace

4

 


22×18 inch Canvas Painting

Acrylic neon paints

IMG_8654

$450 for original canvas painting

 

click here to purchase

 

Available upon request

$30 for 8×11 print

$15 for 4×6 print

 

 

paypal.me/artbykrow

also available on Etsy