New beginnings, SINACRAZEDPEOPLE, Spill Your Heart Out

Last Nights Dream with a doodle

Last night I had a really intriguing dream that was muted. However, I was also able to get a sense of my surroundings, the words being mouthed to me, my emotions & the energy that surrounded me.

– – –

I fell into a room. Right on a pallet next to a singing bowl. It hurt so I rubbed my back.

I was moving slower than normal stuck between feeling as if I were in space or underwater. I felt as if I were within both to be honest.

I felt suffocated as if I were drowning what is or isn’t. Something in my head expressed to me that my time would end due to the lack of oxygen I felt that I had there. So I sat on the pallet, banged on the singing bowl expecting sound but all I could see were the vibrations it emanated. This made my eyes widen & I felt a gush of warm air flow through me allowing me to somehow breathe again. I closed my eyes & let it take me around the room as we absorbed one another’s presence.

I opened my eyes & eventually realized I had been sitting in front of a window with this entity staring at me with blazing brownish orange yellow eyes reminding me of the sun. It was happy then angry then happy again as it pointed to the door. It mouthed something to me I didn’t understand so I focused & slowed down his/her mouthing words as its inaudible words said ” this opening is closed but ahead there’s a door open for you” I looked at the door realizing it was close, I turned back feeling content then felt confused as this entity was gone. I looked for the door realizing it was distant. I blinked & shockingly it was closer to my face now. It was so close that I had to focus my eyes in order to make it visible.

The door seemed as if it was going to close on me so I quickly grabbed the door knob while it was there in front of me.

As I grabbed the door knob it held onto my hand & flung me with it . The door then tossed me out of it. As it tossed me I was moving in slow motion face forward.

The gush of warm wind moved my body around to where I was now flying backwards able to look back towards the window. In the window was now myself waving with a smile pointing to the right ( my left while flying backwards ) I looked towards my left & saw another entity with its arms spread out & as eyes filled with my past, present & future was entering & exiting its mouth going outward & inward into space.

I blinked then everything moved normally, the door slammed closed & I woke up.

I am not done with it but wanted to share the process! I didn’t want to add me going through the door because I felt like it was too much in one space so I left it out. I want to dig deeper into this dream since it’s the 1st one I had in a really long time. I have not been sleeping much due to a lot of transitions in my life lately.

I plan to create, focus & be more consistent with my art process more even if that means ghosting on y’all.

I hope you all enjoyed entering a piece of my mind.

-KROW

Painting, Spill Your Heart Out

A painting with no titles

This painting was pretty emotional for me really.

When I made this I started off dark colors using black and deep red oil paints. In that moment I realized subconsciously I was choosing these colors because I was in a dark place mentally.

Smearing these two colors around and around not even knowing how to use oil paints but just feeling it and how this feeling related to me.

I allowed this painting to sit outside alone on my balcony for a few days. Checking on it , not knowing what to do with it, not knowing if I wanted to do anything with it.

A reflection of myself.

1 whole month it took me to finally face this darkness, this deep red mixed with black and bring it to the light.

Slowly touching the surface with neon fluorescents and things to glow within the dark.

I allowed these colors to fall onto this painting without thought, without judgment and watched a face evolve from within; from the hardest stroke to the lightest..these are all reflections of myself or maybe someone else who may have felt the same way that I did..in that moment.

The light within will always find its way through the darkness. You just have to face that darkness even when it’s horrifying.

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16 x 20

Oil paint and neon acrylics

Click to purchase

Painting, Spill Your Heart Out

A Rock with Personality

This was was stumbled upon during my journey around my neighborhood as I was talking to myself & not paying attention to where I was walking.

I tripped over it , looked down and said ” oh hello rock, I’m krow” lol interestingly enough it ACTUALLY HAD A FACE & it SPOKE!

” Don’t you know how to watch where you’re going, walking around not paying attention to where you’re working. I thought you were being more aware of your surroundings, to the trees, the birds, the people but not US ROCKS huh? ”

” crap ” I thought to myself.

” He’s right ” I mumbled

” I KNOW IM RIGHT GOT DAMMIT”

I laughed

” You wanderers always think it’s funny, LOOK AT THAT GUY OVER THERE”

I looked over my shoulder towards the water drains & saw a rock that was partially mud with half it’s face coming off.. it looked at me & whispered ” look away” while choking on water flowing pass it.

” Fuck, what happened”

“Nothing, he’s just too lazy to move & he was the perfect example of WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO ME”

” Hey, look stop worrying about what could have happened & think about what didn’t. You’re here & your face didn’t end up like his. No offense other rock. You should encourage him to move instead of making him feel bad about himself some people need a little encouragement. Yah I kicked you but we’re still here. Plus you’re a rock & you’re most likely gonna get kicked around again. What you can do is not take yourself for granted, you’re tough as fuck man. OWN THAT SHIIIIT” I said

He blinked at me a few times, exhaled & said ” eh, you’re right. It just ain’t east being a rock sometimes ya know ” while nudging me on the ankle ” Get outta here so I can help this idiot it’s gonna get messy ”

Okay I said as I started to walk away.

I stopped & turned back around

” Tell ya what, I’m gonna paint you ”

” Oh yah make me pretty then & a little weird lookin ” as he bat his eyelashes up & down like one of those cartoons I used to watch growing up.

I laughed out loud while saying to myself ” Gotta make sure I watch where I’m going more often”

9 x 11 painting of this rock with personality

Acrylic on canvas inserted into a frame

Click to purchase

Painting, Spill Your Heart Out

They want to be heard & seen

These paintings were created from faces I remember from my dream. Sometimes they just stand there, looking, smiling, frowing, laughing screaming, crying, pulling out their hair; they even pose hurrying for me to take a photo and won’t stop until I blink a few times. Their faces are never that visible mostly a blur so I draw them as much as I can.

I don’t know what their purpose is for coming to me but I paint them anyway. I draw eyes & mouths on their faces because most of the time they look distorted & I feel like they want to be seen & heard in ways I can’t even imagine. They communicate but I can’t hear them maybe it’s because I haven’t reach my ultimate state of connectivity yet .

One day they will be more audible & visible so I can draw them with more depth. Until now this is what it will be.

24 x 18 in dimensions

Oil paint & neon acrylic paint on canvas

High gloss varnish

Click to purchase

16 x 20 in dimensions

Oil paint & acrylic paint

High gloss varnish

Click here to purchase